Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

Apple

“Look Vlad, Draven has arrived home. Oh look at you, what a big boy you have become.”

“Rubbish Morticia, vampires do not grow older or big, we remain as we were bitten, but I must say he has a very nice pale complexion, and your teeth have grown to a wonderful shape. Grandfather Cosimo would be proud of you, had they not pierced him with a wooden stake. How was school?”

“Oh, great dad, we learnt a lot. Look how I can fly.”

“Wonderful, but looping the loop is not very elegant as a vampire. And how did your biting lessons go.”

“Great dad, I can show you.”

“Draven we have no suitable flesh samples to try it out on.”

“Oh mum, we don’t bite flesh. Most of us are vegan or vegetarian so we are given an apple, like the one in the dish here. Look.”

“Just a minute…

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